I’ve started, deleted, post-poned and avoided this post for a long time now.  Bringing this topic to life has been a big struggle for me.  In general, I try to keep all of my posts positive and inspiring, but until recently, I was simply feeling down.  Hiding behind a smile, silently screaming on the inside.  Stuck in this eternal state of limbo, bending while trying not to break, passing one obstacle to then be faced with another- only harder, constantly moving, but only in circles.  It was a vicious cycle and it was taking a toll on me.

I felt lost.  I felt unsure.  I felt deflated.  I felt miserable.  And worst of all, I felt alone.

There was this overwhelming pressure to make all of the right choices, leaving no margin for errors.  Keep in mind, this was self-inflicted.  I wasn’t allowing myself the grace to be human and to make mistakes.  The Dreamer in me was slowly being suffocated by this sudden Realist, an internal monster, who was taking over.  The heartbeat of who I am and what I stood for was dissipating to the point that I couldn’t even recognize the sound any longer.

Nothing felt right, everything felt wrong.  Nothing was easy, everything was complex and difficult, draining.  No matter what I did to stay afloat, a new wave would pound down on me, leaving me weak, tired and constantly gasping for air.  It was a losing battle.

Difficult situations I was faced with became too much to handle and all I could do was shut down.  I went into survival mode, isolating myself as a form of protection.  I felt like I was failing- everything and everyone.  I wanted to run, but there was no where to go.  I want to fly, but there was no wind in my wings.  I was grounded.  Feeling caged.  Empty.

The thing about hitting rock bottom is that you can only do one thing… Look up.  Search for the light in the darkness and cling onto that, refusing to lose sight of it.  I realized that there was beauty in this struggle I was facing, that it would shape and mold me.  That it would help me identify the areas where I had gone wrong and allow me to right them.  That getting lost had taken me on a path of discovery.  As time pressed on, this girl found her way out of the darkness.  I didn’t have to be bound by any of mistakes I had made along the way, I could simply wipe the slate clean and try again.  I let go of the need to be perfect because I would rather just be me.  The Dreamer.  I embrace the fact that I am just a little birdie in a big ol’ tree.

I think as business owners, this is something we will all go through at one time or another.  How we maneuver through these difficult stages is how greatness is determined.  It isn’t easy, though no one said it would be.  Keep the heartbeat of your business alive and thriving.  And when those monsters- either internal or external- try to bring you down, never let them dull your sparkle.  Much love!!

You all know by now how much I love John Mayer.  Well, this song on his newest album embodies all of the emotions and thoughts I have been going through.  I thought it was perfectly fitting to include it in this post.  I hope you love it as much as I do.