Some of you out there may not like what I am about to say. And that is kinda scary for me. But this has been on my mind and on my heart for a few days now and I can’t seem to shake it. I am not looking to ruffle feathers or create a debate, I am simply stating my opinion in a place where I feel safe, My Blog. Rather than post this on Facebook, where you might feel you were “forced” to see what I am about to post, my blog is a place that you have chosen to be, at your free will. Anything you see here, please remember, you have chosen to see.
There has been quite a debate in a Facebook group that I belong to over a boudoir photo of a married couple. For the record, this image is a little steamy- however, it is a moment that the photographer captured between a husband and wife- who hired this photographer to take said picture. You can see the bare back of the wife and husbands hands on her backside- his hands covering most of her derrière (she is also wearing some skivvies.) Without question, it is a suggestive image. However, the image is not, by any means, x-rated. It is an intimate moment between a married couple- an intimate moment that THEY wanted documented.
The debate turned sour rather quickly with opinions at both ends of the spectrum stating their peace. Religious beliefs were laced-in to several comments. As a Christian, I can respect and understand their point of view. But the group where the photographer chose to share her image was a photography group, not a religion group. Not censoring an Artist’s craft was also laced-in to several comments. As an Artist, I can respect and understand their point of view, too.
It wasn’t until the conversation took a turn that my interest became piqued. In a nutshell, being a boudoir photographer was being summed up by some as selling sex. As a former boudoir photographer, this offended me. I have NEVER been in the business of selling sex. NEVER. And I can assure you that in the handful of years I spent as a boudoir photographer, not once did sex ever enter my mind as I worked with my clients. I was too busy doing my job- taking pictures. I was thinking about the lighting, the angle, the pose, the details, the expression, the interaction… You get my point. And my clients? Please. I can promise you that sex was not on their brain, either.
You see, my clients hired me for one reason and one reason only. To feel beautiful. Not subjected. Not judged. Not ridiculed. To simply feel beautiful. To celebrate being a woman. To document who they were in that moment. Why, as women, does our body only have to be seen as a sexual thing? And if I am being 100% honest, it almost never had anything to do with their spouse or boyfriends. It had everything to do with them wanting to feel empowered and beautiful in their skin. It was about being pampered, having a day just for them, having an experience to remember for the rest of their life. Because, lets face it, as a woman, we are wives, mothers, sisters and business women. How often do we actually take the time to put ourselves first and do something just for us? Not very often at all. And given the way that boudoir photography is perceived- it isn’t a shock. In essence, knocking boudoir photography down to “selling sex” won’t empower anyone, it will make them feel ashamed. And that is not fair.
Boudoir is NOT sex. And to subject it down to just that is not only insulting to me, it is insulting to my past clients. And every other photographer out there who offers boudoir or glamour photography and the hundreds of thousands of clients they bless every year with their gift of making them feel beautiful. The only people who are making it dirty are the ones who don’t see it for what it truly is. I will never understand why it is a negative thing to make someone feel good about themselves.
I am no longer a boudoir photographer, however, my approach to senior photography is exactly the same. My goal has ALWAYS been to bring out the honesty in my clients. Who they truly are. To cut through the persona and photograph the real girl. I feel that in this world, society is already hard enough on women and girls of every age.
They don’t need you lashing out at them and breathing down their neck, too.
If boudoir & glamour photography isn’t your cup of tea- then don’t drink it. But don’t chastise and make an example of the ones who do. I have an amazing friend who specialize in photography for women and I have had the opportunity to talk this situation out with her. I can assure you that she is not in the business of selling sex. Jennifer Rozenbaum is in the business of celebrating beauty and making women look and feel gorgeous. Empowering women. She teaches women that feeling beautiful isn’t wrong. It’s exactly the opposite.
As Artists, isn’t that what we should all be focused on? Making our clients happy and providing them with beautiful imagery. I would think as photographers, we would rather spend our time creating beauty than defending our craft.
